November 7, 2021

Genesis 44-45

The Road to Reconciliation

Joseph’s brothers did not merely hurt his feelings; they kidnapped him, abused him, sold him into slavery, and in doing so, they thought they had signed his death warrant. What happened years later when they came face to face again in desperate need of Joseph’s mercy and kindness? And what can we learn from this dramatic story about finding our way towards the road to reconciliation if we have strained relationships? Join Pastor Jim as he unpacks gospel hope and practical help from Genesis 44-45.

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Sermon Notes

The road to reconciliation leads to…

  1. The freedom of forgiveness
  2. The beauty of reconciliation
  3. The glories of mercy and grace

“The main way Christians can be a resource to the broader culture is by restoring the church to being a well-known community of forgiveness and reconciliation. God always holds you responsible to reach out to repair a tattered relationship. A Christian is responsible to begin the process of reconciliation, regardless of how the distance or the alienation began.”
Tim Keller

“If the past is not to become a ball and chain for the present, it takes truth, repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation to keep the past as the past and create an open future of the genuine second chance. The secular pursuit of justice rarely offers such options.”
Os Guinness, Carpe Diem Redeemed

“In Jesus Christ, God became flesh to restore being into our nonbeing by reconciling us to the One ‘in Whom we live, and breathe, and have our being.’”
M. Craig Barnes, The Pastor as Minor Poet

“I wonder if anything is more urgent today, for the honour of Christ and for the spread of the gospel, than what the church should be, and should be seen to be, what by God’s purpose and Christ’s achievement it already is — a single new humanity, a model of human community, a family of reconciled brothers and sisters who love their Father and love each other, the evident dwelling place of God by His Spirit. Only then will the world believe in Christ as Peacemaker. Only then will God receive the glory due to His name.”
John Stott

Transcript

We study through books of the Bible here at The Village Chapel and we have extra copies if you didn’t bring one with you and you’d like one to follow along, raise your hand up real high. We’ll make sure you get a copy. It would be good to have one today. We’re going to tackle two chapters as we have in the last two weeks. I want to thank Pastor Tommy and Pastor Matt who each took one of those Sundays. Here we come to the climax of this story with Joseph and his brothers. It’s so fitting that we would sing about, We Will Feast in the House of Zion. Here, we’re picking up the storyline as they’re sitting around a table they’ve brought, the brothers of Joseph have brought Benjamin back to Egypt at the request, or actually demand of Joseph. We pick up the storyline as they’re all sitting there around the table.

But before we get started, I want to ask a couple of questions. I always like to set this… Since we’re in Genesis, it’s a book of beginnings. I like to set in your mind some of those big questions that I think Genesis helps us deal with, one of which is, what has gone wrong with the world? Most of us would acknowledge something’s gone wrong in the world. Every now and then, doesn’t it cross to your mind that what’s gone wrong with the world, the answer might be other people.  Is that right? You feel me on that?

It sometimes happens that it feels that way. There are others who if they just, it’s crossed my mind before, if they would just think like I do, or if they would just drive like I do, or if they would… Yeah, it just seems to me like if everybody could be just like me that things would be so much better. Yet, at the same time, the Bible’s so great, holds up like a merit to us to show us what the Lord wants to reveal to us, not only about Himself, but He holds a mirror up to us so we can see ourselves in this.

You’re going to see yourself in this story somehow if you haven’t already. Two things I want to ask though. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that every detail in this historical narrative applies to your situation or your life, but at the same time, open your heart to the Lord to speak to you, to teach you something about your relationship with Him and your own understanding of yourself that might open your heart a little bigger, a little broader opening to God speaking to you, and to growing you up in Christ. This problem with other people is a big theme in these two chapters, 44 and 45. We see here, this is just one of the most beautiful sections of Genesis because of the reconciliation that happens. There’s been a process. It’s not just a flip of a light switch. We all know that. We’ve been studying that for at least these last two weeks, but we come to this table that they’re sitting at together. We’re going to be coming to the table in a little bit ourselves to give thanks to the Lord for the gift that He has given us in His son in the finished work of Christ on the cross, His body broken, His bloodshed for us and a thing to do, the response, a proper response is to say, thank you for that.

Pick up at this table, 3-4,000 years, I don’t know how many years ago, long time ago. Then he [Joseph] commanded his house steward. All the brothers are sitting there. Benjamin has been brought there just as Joseph demanded. He commands his house steward, Joseph does, and says, “Fill the men’s sacks with food, as much as they can carry, and put each man’s money in the mouth of his sack. Put my cup, the silver cup,”

He’s got his own cup. How many of you have your own coffee cup? All right, yeah, everybody’s got one. His probably said, World’s Best Vice Pharaoh, or something like that. I don’t know. Best VP. But he says, “Put my cup, the silver cup, in the mouth of the sack of the youngest,” that would be Benjamin, “and his money for the grain.”  This steward did as Joseph had told him. As soon as it was light, the men were sent away, and with their donkeys.

As they pull out of town, it’s a happy caravan, isn’t it? They’ve got the food. They came to get some food. They brought Benjamin, their father had said, “If you don’t come back with Benjamin, I’m dying.” They’ve got Benjamin and they’re returning. It just feels like a happy caravan as they pull out of city, pay the toll there on the road, and then they just head back up north. Well, they had just gone out of the city, and were not far off, verse 4 says, when Joseph said to the house steward, “Up, follow the men; and when you overtake them, say to them, ‘Why have you repaid evil for good? Is not this the one from which my Lord drinks?’ He’s referring to that cup. He’s telling you the steward to bring that up, “which he indeed uses for divination. You have done wrong in doing this.”

He’s telling the steward what to say to the brothers as he’s going to accuse them of having stolen this special cup. Don’t get too caught up in the whole divination. Remember, Joseph is living in Egypt. Common practice in that time, ancient near eastern literature leads us to believe there would be things like dropping oil and water and watching, which… It’s kind of like the eight ball thing that you shake and you ask it the question, “Okay, do you want me to get married?,” and you shake the thing and it goes, “No chance for you Bub,” or whatever. It’s a common cultural practice. Don’t have a lot of laws just yet that would govern this sort of activity. He’s living in a foreign land. Just don’t get too caught up. Everybody, I love it when people get snagged by these details, but don’t get too caught up in that.

This was his special cup and that’s special about it. It said it was his special cup. The steward did as Joseph had told him to do. When they got out there, he overtook them and spoke these words to them. (v.7) They said to him. In other words, he repeated to these guys exactly what Joseph told him to tell them. They said to him, ‘Why does my Lord speak such words as these? Far be it from your servants to do such a thing. Behold, the money which we found in the mouth of our sacks we have brought back to you from the land of Canaan.

They did that on the previous journey. When they had found the money and they brought it back on this particular trip. Now they’re leaving again not knowing their money is again in their sacks and that cup. Then they say, “How then could we steal silver or gold from your lord’s house? With whomever of your servants it is found, let him die, and we also will be my lord’s slaves.”

The offers on the table. We’ll all become your slaves and whoever stole the cup, that person can be put to death. That’s what they’re saying to Joseph stewards. He says, “Now let it also be according to your words; he with whom it [the cup] is found, let him die, and we also will be my lord’s slaves. The rest of you shall be innocent.” He’s lessened the punishment if it happens. The thing that they put on the table was… Of course, they don’t know that all that’s in their sacks of grain, but it was way more. This guy is actually lessening it, okay?

Then they hurried, each man lowered his sack to the ground, and each man opened his sack. He searched, beginning with the oldest and ending with the youngest, and the cup was found in Benjamin’s sack.

Here, the brothers are at a crossroads. My thought is, will they abandon Benjamin now as they abandoned Joseph? These brothers have been known to abandon. They have been known to be self-centered. Will they do that?

Verse 13: Then they tore their clothes, and when each man loaded his donkey, they returned to the city. When Judah and his brothers came to Joseph’s house, he was still there, and they fell to the ground before him.

This is about the third time that Joseph’s dream from when he was 17 years old that he told his brothers about, that really made them mad. This is about the third, fourth time that dream has actually come true. These brothers have bowed down to him. They don’t know it’s him. He knows it’s them. He knows it’s his dream that he had, or this dream God gave him that that would happen, kind of a prophetic dream as a young man.

Verse 15, Joseph said to them, “What is this deed that you have done? Do you not know that such a man as I indeed practice divination?”

The point there is not, again, practicing divination. The point there is you’ve done this thing and do you think you can get away with it? You think I won’t know about it? I’ve got the eight ball man. I can shake the eight ball. Who took my cup? The brothers. He’s literally saying to them, “You can’t hide what you’re doing.”

Verse 16, Judah said, “What can we say to my Lord? What can we speak? How can we justify ourselves?”

That phrase, that question there just… man, that lodged in my heart, because the answer is we can’t. They couldn’t, and we can’t justify ourselves. Every single one of us is a sinner. Every single one of us has offended the God of heaven. All of our sins are sins against God. Many of our sins are sins against people as well.

But Judah seems to be learning something here. There’s a little turn in his spiritual life and his spiritual understanding. He says, “How can we justify ourselves? God has found out the iniquity of your servants.”

Okay, that’s powerful right there. Please understand, it’s always been about me, myself and I for these brothers. Now they’re saying, “God, we can’t hide anything from God. You may have a divination cup, but God sees the hearts of everyone.” “Behold, we are my Lord’s slave,” speaking to Joseph now, “both we and the one whose possession the cup has been found.”

Verse 17 But he [Joseph} said “Far be it from me to do this. The man in whose possession the cup has been found, he shall be my slave, but as for you, go up in peace to your father.”

Now, that’s fascinating. Why? Because they went up in peace to their father when they left Joseph in a pit and they crushed their father. They abused their brother Joseph. They sold him into slavery, but they crushed with grief their father. Now here’s Joseph saying to them, “Go on, you go on and leave Benjamin here. He’ll be my slave. You go back to your father.”

Judah approached him, the verse 18, and this is the longest speech in the whole book of Genesis. It’s nothing longer by anybody else, nothing longer by Abraham, nothing longer by Isaac or Jacob. This is the longest speech in Genesis.

Judah approached him, and said, and by the way, Judah, the fountain head of the tribe of Judah, the tribe of Judah will be the line of ancestors through which Messiah will come. The lion of the tribe of Judah is Jesus. Watch how Judah starts to behave a little bit more in a foreshadowing way like that. Verse 18 Oh my Lord, may your servant please speak a word in my Lord’s ears, and do not be angry with your servant; for you are equal to Pharaoh.[Respect] My Lord asked his servants, saying, ‘Have you a father or a brother?” This is Judas speaking to Joseph saying, “You asked us if we have a father or brother.” We said to my Lord, “We have an old father and a little child of his old age. His brother is dead, so he alone is left of his mother and his father loves him.”

Then you said to your servants, “Bring him down to me that I may set my eyes on him,” but we said to my Lord, ‘The lad cannot leave his father for if he should leave his father, his father would die.’ You said to your servants, however, ‘Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you shall not see my face again.’ [You won’t even have an audience with me.] Thus it came about when we went up to your servant my father, we told him the words of my lord. Our father said, ‘Go back, buy us a little food.’ But we said, ‘ We said we cannot go down. If our youngest brother is with us, then we will go down; for we cannot see the man’s face unless our youngest brother is with us.’ Your servant my father said to us, ‘You know that my wife bore me two sons;  [talking about Rachel here. Rachel and Jacob bear Joseph and Benjamin] and the one went out from me, and I said, ‘Surely he is torn in pieces,’ and I have not seen him since.

You realize this is the first time that Joseph knows the lie that his brothers, the details of the lie that his brothers told his father? He didn’t. We have no indication. He knew that they had said he was dead, but not this kind of thing to their father. Surely is torn in pieces and just again, such a foreshadowing of what will happen to the body of Jesus being torn as He is scourged with the whips. No bones broken, but His body shred in pieces that way. I’ve not seen Him since. This is what…He goes on to say, If you take this one also from me, [if you take Benjamin from me] and harm befalls him, you will bring my gray hair down to Sheol in sorrow.” This is Jacob speaking to Judah. He’s recounting it to Joseph. Therefore, when I come to your servant, my father and the lad is not with us, since his life is bound up in the lad’s life, it will come about that when he sees that the lad is not with us, that he will die. Thus your servants will bring the gray hair of your servant our father down to Sheol in sorrow. He will literally die and go to the shadowlands in sorrow.

Your servant became surety, [meaning this is Judas saying, I became surety] for the lad to my father.” [Isn’t that interesting, that he became surety? Judah substituted himself before his father. Isn’t that interesting? Foreshadowing there.] If I do not bring him back to you, then let me bear the blame before my father forever. Now therefore, please let your servant remain instead of the lad a slave to my lord, and let the lad go up with his brothers. For how shall I go up to my father if the lad is not with me, lest I see the evil that would overtake my father?”

Here’s Judah thinking of others. Huge shift. Here’s Judah offering to substitute himself to lay down his life for others. Interesting. So interesting. Verse 1, chapter 45, “Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, “Have everyone go out.” There was no man with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. Now, my guess is he hasn’t spoken in Hebrew yet. My guess is there’s always been an interpreter in the room, including that long speech by Judah, because they don’t know he’s Joseph until right now.

This is fascinating to me. He wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it and the household of Pharaoh heard it. It was heard throughout the house. Remember, no triple pane windows in those days? The hum of HVAC not there. Stuff just gets heard. Even though he sent them all, the servants, out of the room, he’s there at that table with those brothers and they hear him wailing and crying.

Verse 3, Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph!”, likely now speaking in their tongue, which he would’ve known because he grew up speaking that tongue until he was 17. He looks at them and says, “I am Joseph. Is,” and this is so interesting, “Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him for they were dismayed at his presence.

Let me translate that for you. His brothers were speechless. His brothers were so shocked, they’re just gaping with their mouth hanging open and can’t say… Think of all they’ve gone through. Think of everything that’s happening, how dramatic it is in this moment. All of those servants kicked out of the room. He’s there alone. What’s he going to do? Draw a sword and starts swinging it? No, he says, “I’m Joseph, your brother. Is my father still alive?” They couldn’t say a thing. Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come closer to me.” Folks, this is where healing starts between broken and torn relationships. “Please come closer to me.”

Here we see grace on the move. It’s beautiful. Every single one of us in this room, and every single person watching online needs grace. Please come closer. They came closer. He said, “I’m your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. Now, do not be grieved or angry with yourself.” Sorry, right there I am blown away. Again, if it were you, if it were me. I’ve tried to identify with different characters in this storyline, maybe you have as well. But if I were Joseph after 20 years of going from the pit to the palace, to prison, and back to the palace, man, if I ever see those guys again, I’m about to take… Especially now that I’m in power, politically. I wouldn’t have been so kind. I’m not that kind on I-65. You aren’t that kind. That’s a much lesser offense, isn’t it?

What would he do? Come closer. I’m your brother. Don’t be angry with yourselves. Can you extend that kind of grace to someone who has abused you, offended you? Don’t be mad at yourself. Look for the brokenness behind the behavior. Be gracious. Be kind. Everyone you meet today will be fighting a great battle. Everyone you’re sitting in this room with is fighting a great battle. What if we could learn to say, “Don’t beat yourself up on this.”?

Then notice how he points to God four times. This is just mind blowing. Don’t be grieved or angry with yourself because you sold me here. God sent me before you to preserve life. You sold me, but God sent me. You sold me, you abused me, you took what wasn’t yours, you sold me into human trafficking and slavery, and yet God sent me here.

That’s his perspective on his suffering. It’s not just sweeping it under the rug. He’s not just in denial. He’s actually saying, No, there was a divine mission that God had for me. It looked like going through a very dark way, but God had a purpose in it all somehow. You sold me, God sent me.

The famine has been in the land two years and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing or harvesting. Once again, “God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth and to keep you alive by a great deliverance.” Preserving this family that will become a nation through whom God will send Messiah. At the same time, not only preserving them with food and all of that sort of thing, but keeping them alive by a great deliverance that’s yet to come, the Exodus, this amazing story. 400 and some years later is going to bring much glory to God. It’s going to be awesome.

Verse 8. Therefore, it was not you who sent me here but God, and he has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt. Hurry up and go to my father and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, ‘God has made me Lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not delay.'”

Verse 5, verse 7, verse 8 and verse 9, Joseph says God is sovereign. You wanted to sell me. God sent me. God had a purpose. That’s really amazing. He starts with God.

Verse 10, You shall live in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children and your flocks and your herds and all that you have. There, I will also provide for you, for there are still five years of famine to come, and you and your household and all that you have would be impoverished. Behold, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see that it is my mouth which is speaking to you.

In other words, no longer using an interpreter. I’m the one saying this. I’m saying it in your language. I’m making these amazing promises to you, promises which you did not deserve. Mercy and grace in motion toward you. It’s all, why? Not just because he’s a good southerner. He lives south of them in Egypt, but because of God.

Verse 5, verse 7, verse 8, verse 9. Now, you must tell my father of all my splendor in Egypt and all that you have seen. You must hurry and bring my father down here. Then he fell on his brother Benjamin’s neck and he wept and Benjamin wept on his neck. He kissed all his brothers. He wept on them. Afterward, his brothers talked with him. The narrator is just saying, I’m not going to tell you everything they said, but it was awesome, because not only did they fall on each other’s neck and kiss each other, but they wept together. Isn’t reconciliation like that so often?

It may be weeping at first because of the suffering, but it turns to weeping for joy, for beauty of reconciliation. It’s so beautiful. Then he talked with them. I can’t wait to get home. One of my first appointments will be coffee with Joseph. What’d we talk about? I want to know what that was about. Remember when you guys did this? Remember when we did that? Remember when we were playing baseball in the front yard when I was 15 before you sold me into Egypt as a slave, or whatever? That’d be so cool to hear what they talked about.

Verse 16: The news was heard in Pharaoh’s house, let’s finish this chapter, that Joseph’s brothers had come. It pleased Pharaoh and his servants. See? Joseph’s got favor with Pharaoh because of God. Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, say to your brothers, do this, load your beasts. Go to the land of Canaan. Take your father and your households and come to me. I will give you the best of the land of Egypt and you shall eat the fat of the land. Now you are ordered, do this. Take wagons from the land of Egypt for your little ones, for your wives. Bring your father and come. Do not concern yourselves with your goods, for the best of all the land of Egypt is yours.

Then the sons of Israel did so. Joseph gave them wagons according to the command of Pharaoh, and gave them provisions for the journey. To each of them he gave changes of garments. But to Benjamin, he gave 300 pieces of silver and five changes of garments. Can you see his eyes bugging out?

Maybe yet one more time, Joseph wondering if the brothers will react against favoritism, wondering if he needs to test them yet one more time because that’s certainly the problem, a rift that originated between him and his brothers. Well, to his father, he sent as follows; 10 donkeys loaded with best things of Egypt, 10 female donkeys loaded with grain and bread and sustenance for his father on the journey. This would be like 10 Escalades filled with filet mignon and all kinds of great food. Pulling into your favorite restaurant, loading up on the goodies and driving it down there. This is just awesome. And emptying out all of the finest of clothing in the mall, all of that.

He sent his brothers away and they departed. He said to them, “Do not quarrel on the journey.” Parents, how many times have you said, “If you don’t quiet down back there, I’m going to stop this car! Don’t make me pull this car over!” It’s just so funny that that’s what he had to say to his brothers.

Then they went from Egypt, came to the land of Canaan and their father Jacob, they told him, saying, “Joseph is still alive and indeed he’s ruler over all the land of Egypt,” but he, meaning Jacob, was stunned. In other words, his heart went numb. He didn’t even know how to feel. Have you ever heard that kind of a bit of news that just shocked you into numbness, good or bad news? It can happen. He didn’t believe them. But when I told him all the words of Joseph that he’d spoken to them and when he saw the wagons that Joseph has sent to carry him, the spirit of their father, Jacob, revived. Oh, bring revival to us Lord.

Israel said, “It is enough my son Joseph is still alive. I will go and see him before I die.” Folks, grace was on the move. Grace was at the table. Grace is still on the move and grace is still at the table. The question is, are our hearts open to receive from him? Are we interested in the kind of work that only God can do in our hearts, in our minds?

The road to reconciliation, it at least leads to the freedom of forgiveness. This freedom is for both the offender and the offended. See, that’s how beautiful forgiveness is.

By the way, the difference for me, you might have a different view, but the difference for me between forgiveness and reconciliation is this. Forgiveness takes one heart and only one. You can forgive someone. Reconciliation takes at least two, depends on how many persons are involved in the conflict.

When we think through a story like this, again, be careful not to over-interpret it, but at the same time, let’s learn something about reconciliation and forgiveness here, because they are jewels that are beautiful and worth learning about. There is a freedom to forgiveness, for the forgiver and for the forgiven. That’s on offer as we are reminded of forgiveness here in this story, believing and trusting faith in the sovereign grace of God. In our case, because we have the New Testament to make it sort of a lens through which we read the Old Testament, we see what God has done in Christ and how overwhelmingly we’ve been lavished with His grace, each and every one of us. How could we possibly deny that to others?

We pray it every week here. It’s the only conditional clause in The Lord’s Prayer. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Spurgeon goes so far as to say, when you pray that with unforgiveness in your heart, you sign your own death warrant. Is that sobering? Maybe it needs to be for some of us, some of us that hold on to unforgiveness, clinging to it, because I’ll tell you, it is a poison in your spiritual life. I think it was Lily Tomlin that said, that great philosopher Lily Tomlin, I think she’s the one that first said this, “Holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking rat poison yourself and expecting the rat to die.” It’s a poison in your heart. It burns up your soul. Your soul, my soul, never designed to bear the weight of unforgiveness, the burden of unforgiveness.

Not to be trivial at all, but let me quote Frozen, “Let it go.”There’s a lot about Frozen I cannot quote or agree with, but “Let it go” is appropriate to those who harbor unforgiveness and won’t stop.

Believing, trusting faith in the sovereign grace of God and Christ opens up our hearts to not only receive from Him, which is such a beautiful thing, in and of itself makes me crumble. But what I receive from Him, I can now reflect to others, because guess what? I don’t have it in myself to send out grace and mercy to others. I just don’t have that. I need His grace and mercy flowing through me. There is a great freedom in all of that, freedom to the forgiven and freedom to those who need to forgive.

Secondly, the beauty of reconciliation. Again, it takes two for this beautiful thing, this reconciliation to happen. It can set unimaginable beauty in motion. I think the elements of reconciliation are many and varied. We see it here in this story. There’s clarification of the actual wrongdoing. There’s owning and acknowledgement of the wrongdoing. There’s contextualization with matters of faith. That’s also important. What prevents us from doing that is usually pride or fear. If you are harboring unforgiveness, I would ask you to ask your own soul a few questions. Your own mind. What are you afraid of? What are you holding on? What part of your pride has not died? Because when Jesus bids a man to follow Him, or a woman to follow Him, what’s the first thing we must do? Deny yourself. Yeah. Take up your cross. That’s an instrument of death, not a piece of jewelry. I’m glad that we see it all over the place, that’s wonderful, but it’s not just a tattoo and it’s not just a piece of jewelry. It actually represents something. The greatest sacrifice, substitutionary sacrifice the world has ever known where Jesus took my place on the cross and your place on the cross, but a willingness to come together. We see that all here. It’s just, it’s a beautiful thing, reconciliation. We’ve got to set aside pride and anger. Believing, trusting faith in the sovereign grace of God and Christ opens up our hearts to receive and reflect.

Thirdly, the glories of mercy and grace are on display here as well. Again, not designed to carry this kind of bitterness, this kind of resentment. Some of you know this. Some you though, you might have been carrying it so long that you’re in denial about the fact that you’re carrying this bitterness and resentment. I hope and pray that today the Holy Spirit cracks us open because a good question to ask ourselves from time to time, is there anybody in my entire life, any sphere of my life, work, home, family, extended family, neighborhood, that I haven’t forgiven them and I won’t let it go? I refuse to let it go until they get their just desserts.

Man, what if Joseph had been… He wasn’t that way at all. We’re told this story because it actually points us to a greater Joseph, Jesus, the one who became sin so that you and I could become righteousness. He who knew no sin became sin on our behalf. It’s really powerful when you think about it.

“The main way Christians can be a resource to the broader culture is by restoring the church to being a well-known community of forgiveness and reconciliation. God always holds you responsible to reach out to repair a tattered relationship. A Christian is responsible to begin the process of reconciliation, regardless of how the distance or the alienation began.” – Tim Keller

You say that’s not fair. Well, here’s the greatest unfair thing that ever happened in the world. Jesus died for you. That’s the greatest injustice the world will ever know. Jesus died for me. He did nothing to earn that kind of punishment, but He took the wrath of God in my place so that I could have life, so that you could have life. How can we deny forgiveness to someone else? There are others. There are lots of folks that are out there languishing away in their pain and their resentment, toward you maybe, I don’t know. But Jesus himself puts the burden on His followers to go and make it right, because when you sense, when you are aware that someone has ought against you, Jesus says, not you have ought against them, but they have ought against you, then go to them and make amends with them before you, and then come back and give your offering to the Lord. That’s powerful. It’s counter-cultural. In every way, it’s really, really powerful.

The on-ramp to the road to reconciliation includes a few things. Facing up the facts, taking personal responsibility. By the way, that’s not, I’ll take personal responsibility if you’ll take personal responsibility for your part. There’s no conditions on this. But if you want to be on the road to reconciliation, you got to face the facts. Take your responsibility. It needs to be a real confession and repentance, not just a trite. When I was little, I have three brothers, so there were four of us. But Moms, dads sometimes teach their children to say two words, I’m sorry. Have you ever been when you were a kid, or who are parents, have you ever had to say to the kid, “Now say it like you mean it.”? We can do the religious rule following thing and say, “Check, I’m sorry.” Or we’ll say, “I’m sorry if I…” Well, a real apology, a real confession has no if in it. I’m sorry that I threw you in a pit. I’m sorry that I left you for dead. I’m sorry that I sold you into trafficking. I’m sorry that I hoped you were dead. I’m sorry that I hated you that much.

God has now found out, Judas says. We are here because God has found out. See how gracious God is even in peeling back the real truth in the hearts of those wicked brothers? That He would bring them there and give them an opportunity to repent like that, it’s really powerful. Confession, repent, reflecting God’s love, mercy and grace. In other words, you don’t have the power to do this. Let’s just all admit it. We don’t. Then where are we going to get the kind of grace, love, and mercy we need to give to someone else who’s offended us, or whom we’ve offended? We’re going to have to reflect God’s love, mercy, grace.

Proactive and persistent forgiveness. See, sometimes some of us think, “Well, I told you I was sorry,” because something happens a little later and somebody brings it up. How many of you know somebody that’s just got a real long memory of offenses? How many of you’re sitting next to that person right now? No, don’t do that. But there are people like that. Sometimes I’m like that. You don’t forget, because we can say we go through the process of forgiving, but we don’t let it go really. We kind of drag it back on to the center again. Maybe you’re like that, or maybe somebody you know is like that. There has to be proactive and persistent forgiveness.

Resetting expectations is also important because you have to look forward to the future. See, forgiveness in the Christian sense, in the biblical sense, is not just checking the box. It’s not just paying the fine. It’s not just doing your time. Confession to God of our sins means I agree with you, God, what you think about this thing I did. I’m not just sorry I got caught, God. I actually know that I’ve offended you and disappointed my heavenly Father. Oh Lord, help me not do that again.

You see, what Joseph does when he does this process of testing his brothers is he gives them a real opportunity to do the same thing again with Benjamin and to see if they’ve actually have changed. Would they abandon Benjamin like they abandoned Joseph, and they didn’t. That’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it? That has to be an ongoing thing.

Reset expectation, refocus on God’s glory. To me, that’s the jewel in this story here, that this is about God. It’s not about me getting justice or vengeance or revenge. It’s about God and His glory. If two people just flat out cannot get along, part of the problem is that they are setting their eyes on their own stuff, their own rights, their own whatever it is. You get your eyes on God’s glory and make that your number one. You see how many things you can do. Watch how Jesus does that. What does He do? He lays down His life for sinners. Now, if Jesus has done that for me, why can’t I let something go with someone else?

Restoration of healthy habits is good. Working to the future patience, humility and hard work, and then rinse, repeat. Okay, because this is a broken world. Until He returns and sets all things right, this is what we will be. This is what we will be doing as a community. We will be a community of repentance and reconciliation. He even tells us that He’s given us the ministry of reconciliation in the New Testament.

He’s reconciled us to God, we sinners, but then He gives us the ministry of reconciliation, and says, “Go out into the world and do likewise.” It’s a beautiful thing.

I’ll close with this from M. Craig Barnes, The Pastor as Minor Poet
“In Jesus Christ, God became flesh to restore being into our nonbeing by reconciling us to the One ‘in Whom we live, and breathe, and have our being.”

There’s nothing that feels more like death than irreconcilable relationships, or irreconciled relationships. There’s nothing that feels more like death. You want to avoid the person. You don’t want to see them. You don’t want to talk to them, or they don’t want to do that with you. Whatever. It’s just the worst thing. It’s a living death.

You work so hard to keep that death alive sometimes. Why not hear the summons of Jesus to come and to follow Him? Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Him. The one who’s greater even than Joseph, the one who’s forgiven way more than Joseph did. Why not turn to Him and have Him restore being or life into my non-being, my cold heart that has just not wanted to let anything go? Because I can be reconciled to the one in whom I live and breathe and actually have life. You can have that. That’s the offer for you. It’s the offer for me. Let us pray for, or to that end right now.

Lord, thank you for coming. You didn’t have to. You didn’t owe it to us, but you invited us to the grace table. You invited us because you’d already paid the price for our sins, in full, once and for all. That’s just mind blowing to us. It’s heart bursting information. Please let it now be transformation for us. Let us receive again from you this amazing grace that you’ve put on offer. Then, Lord, maybe people in the room, I don’t know, but there may be people in the room that need to make a phone call, send a note or a text or whatever they need to do to set reconciliation in motion with somebody. If that’s the case, Lord, please grant them both the courage and the humility needed for that to happen. Then, Lord, by your presence in their lives, I pray that they would seek your glory in whatever it is they say. Not seek to get even. Not seek to settle the score but seek your glory in every single word and sentence they say and communicate, Lord. We want to say two words to you in the next few minutes. Thank you… for what you’ve done for us, Lord. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.